I Never Thought

         This trip has been one of the hardest things that I have ever done. I prayed that the Lord would challenge me but I never imagined that He would do it in the ways that He is.  I prayed God, stretch me and break me... I don't know why I am so shocked every time He is faithful. So one of the biggest struggles has been that my whole team is full of introverts and myself, an extrovert.  We had a serious break down in communication and I struggled so much with feelings of loneliness. With 2 couples on the team and me and John, I didn't feel like I had a place here.  I didn't know (and still don't know) what I have  to offer the team.  I feel like on other teams, I have been the encourager or the prayer warrior... but here I just don't know. 

I have also been struggling with doubt... in December I seriously struggled with the thought that Jesus was the only way.  Talking with a Hindu the other day, i asked him if Krishna heard his prayers, he said that he had faith that he heard him. Then he asked me if Jesus heard my prayers... all I could say was the same answer.  Weakness came in all forms today. Spiritually, emotionally and physically. I didn't know quite how to handle it. So as I cried myself to sleep in my nap, Sarah (my teammate) asked me what was wrong. So i broke down and let it out...

Stephanie (other teammate) and I had a great talk.  I have evaluated every other religion... I have read documents and heard testimonies... and I couldn't help but think, if Jesus is not the way, then nothing else is. Then as I talked it out, looking at my life, my natural inclination would be to hate my parents, have no regard for other people and to be completely selfish in all things.  But the only explanation is that Jesus has given me new character.  Only Jesus can explain how I am able to forgive my parents for what they have done. Only Jesus can explain why I am in India for my summer, loving the poor and downcast of the world. Only Jesus can explain why I care for others more than myself. Hinduism can not offer that. Islam can not give me that. B'haism brings no hope. Empty idols can not hear my prayers, but I have tasted and seen that the living God is good and so gracious in changing my life. Continue to pray for me... and my team. I welcome any encouragement you have to offer. 8 weeks is a long time. 

My First Devotional In Dehli

We woke up this morning at 6:30 am.  For those of you who know me, that is quite a feat.  But fortunately for me it was 7 pm in the states so i was somewhat awake.  Rachael gave me a little box full of all kinds of cool things before I left but one of my favorite parts was that she made a bunch of index cards and wrote neat things on each one. Today's card said "LESS of me Lord and more of you. Praying for your team..." basically that we would be servants; emptied of ourselves and filled with the H.S. 

 I began to read John 13 and meditate on what it looks like to be a servant and how i might practically do that here. Jesus gives us such a beautiful example of what kind of love we are to love one another with.  Sacrificial love, intentional love, unrelenting love, selfless love and all these we should  imitate because it is the love with which Christ has displayed for us and to us.  This was such a cool thing to think about and pray about this morning. 

Read John 13. I pray that you are challenged more to imitate Christ and be selfless in doing so. I miss you all! :) 

Discipleship Conference

For my spring break, I took an 18 hour train ride to Glorieta New Mexico with 24 other amazing people.  It rocked my world and caused me to question the implications of the Great Commission. 

I wondered why I titled this blog "Falling in Love with the Vision..." but now I see that Christ has painted a beautiful vision for us to make disciples.  He not only spoke of this but modeled it as well.  I have now given my life to making disciples. I will post more about what I learned tomorrow. I pray you all read the mandate we have been given in Matthew 18:18-20 and dont just consider it, what would making disciples look like in your life? 

We Goin to the Ship What?!?!

My Intramural Basketball Team is going to the Championship game.  312 All-stars are undefeated so far this season.  Its weird how this brings back some memories from high school.  This picture was actually taken before our CIF championship game. Times like these are when I miss basketball the most. Dealing with the fact that the Lord didn't have me play basketball in college for a reason, and i trust in Isaiah 55:8-9 knowing that His thoughts and ways are not mine. Praise God that He is sovereign. 

James 1:27

Since February 2008 I have been going to Mission Convalescent Hospital once a week.  It was interesting how this adventure started.  We had a training weekend for ISP and one of the tasks was to engage in a local ministry.  Our team decided to make Valentine's Day cards and take them across the street from our school. We met some of the occupants of this hospital. 

It was a scary experience at first. We walked in and most of the patients were so sick, they were confined to a bed or to sleep for most of their day. It smelled horrible... Not knowing what to do, we decided to split up in partners and went to meet people to give our cards to.  I met a lady named Violet.  She was so proud of the fact that she was 98 years old. We made many new friends. But after we got back, the Lord laid it on my heart that this shouldn't be a one time deal. I shared with my team and a few of us committed to going back. 

Over the summer, it was extremely difficult because I was the only one who lived close enough to continue our ministry. But praise be to God, I made some great friendships with these older people.  One of my first friends was Sybil. She was 93 years old and loved when I would come, but I had no idea this was the case because she only answered my questions with a few words.  I asked if she was a believer and we began to talk about God.  In July 2008, my friend Sybil went home to be with the Lord. 

Charles was another one of my friends.  He loved to talk to Nick and I about prayer and the Lord.  This was a difficult task because he had a tube in his throat.  We would try so hard to hear what he would say and offer some sort of encouragement.  He went home to the presence of the Lord in September 2008.  It was an amazing celebration because on earth he had only one leg and was attached to an oxygen tank. But now, we clung to the promise of scripture that he would be whole and pure praising the Father with people from every nation! 

This is Violet! I met her on our first visit and then did not see her for a while.  Finally at the beginning of this last semester, after I had lost Charles and Sybil, the Lord provided me (and Rachael and Nick) a great friend in Violet. We have some amazing memories with her, but my favorite is when we would read her scripture. Her favorite passage was Psalm 23.  I was amazed when I started reading, that she could recite it along with me.  This is a picture of Nick reading to her (in her good ear, that still wasn't very good).  This was a beautiful picture of James 1:27.  it says "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."  Violet was a widow and she loved the Lord.  Toward the end of her life, she was in a lot of pain and we did the best we could to comfort her with the beautiful promises in the Bible.  On January 1, 2009, at the age of 99 she passed away.  She left us with sweet memories of what it looks like to cling to Christ, love deeply and live well. I am still friends with her daughter (who is 60-something).  Nick was asked to speak at her funeral and 6 of us attended and spoke as well. God did some really cool things through this experience. 

Now as I do ministry there with some of my greatest friends, we had become a bit discouraged.  All the Christians we knew there had passed away.  So we prayed for some new friends.  Doris, Skip, John, Nancy and Valentina are still there and it is usually the highlight of my week to visit them.  Pray for these people, that their hearts might be captured by God. 

this is my first attempt at Blogging...

So I finally gave in to the pressures of society. (and a couple people have been asking me to start one.) Well, here it is.  I pray that you might be encouraged as you read of the work the Lord is doing in my life. But most of all, that He might be supremely glorified in all that I say.