Surrender Redefined

Sorry it has been a while since I wrote last. I journal so much, then by the time I get on here I dont have much to say. I wanted to share a poem I wrote:

A pen in the hand of a writer

yielding to its every word.

A brush in the hand of a painter

spilling its masterpiece.

Clay in the hand of the potter

molding to his every desire.

Scissors in the hand of a stylist

cutting away dead pieces of no worth.

A guitar in the hand of a musician 

as fingers pick the melody of love.

Shoes on the feet of a runner

trampled under the race of ambition. 

An orhestra in the hands of a composer

who has complete control.

I at your feet, yield to your will

make it my will also.

Write my story to mirror

the work of Christ.

paint my life on the canvas of faith

so the world might view you differently.

Mold me into the woman you have

planned me to be from the beginning.

Cut away burdens and guilt,

wash me in forgiveness.

Let me sing your love for 

all the nations to hear.

Equip my feet with the readiness

of the gospel, to be pressed under the

ambition for all to know. 

Direct my life which you have composed.

Fully surrendered am I. 

Surrender was something that became very prominent last year in China, but it has come up yet again... As all the images in the first stanza have a certain role of submission to the thing/person that dominates the object, so also might I be in complete surrender to Christ.

A good friend shared Acts 20:24 with me and I want to share it with you. It says, "But I do not count my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I have received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." This is such a beautiful example of Paul's complete surrender. He disregards the value of his life in order to spread the gospel. (Philippians 3:4-11) His ambition in Romans 15:20 is to preach the gospel. His desire in Romans 10:1 is that the Romans would be saved. I sat on my bed this morning and begged Christ to make this my desire, my ambition and my only aim.  He longs for the church in Thessalonica to stand firm in their faith and he is so "affectionately desirous" of them that he wants to share not only the gospel but himself also. I have learned so much from Paul just in the short time that I have been in India. I have learned to not "grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up." Galtians 6:9... Also that I must boast in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), die to myself daily, and be wiling to "spend and be spent" (2 Corinthians 12:15) to exhaustion for the peace of those who do not know...  (It seems as if God is always reminding me of these things.)

This is a high calling but I have faith that God has fully equipped me for the ministry that He has called me to. (Hebrews 13:21) And though at times I feel that I don't know how to be spent for souls, or what exactly it looks like to die to myself daily... God's grace is sufficient for every moment and by His word I am being taught, reproved, corrected and trained for righteousness. (2 Timothy 3:16) What a work he has begun and how faithful He is to complete it. I am clay in my Potter's hand and a poem for Him to write. I will never understand, but I am thankful nonetheless. 

I pray that you are blessed today as you are reminded of the life we find in the word of God. 

A Beautiful Rain

As I walked from the downstairs to the floor above... I was distracted by a beautiful rain that sparked some creative juices... This a view from the steps right outside of where we are staying. 

Showers fall as in

a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

Pour Your mercy out 

like rain on this scorched 

land filled with darkness.

Rain kissed breeze dances

across my face as if

a shadow of Your beauty.

I am overwhelmed...

Praises fall like rain,

blessings flood my existence.

I beg You... Flood this land

with faith, mercy and grace...

We have been doing a lot of ministry here and I was initially discouraged to see no fruit. But I have been encouraged to see that we are able to bless a local pastor and his wife.  Also we met 2 believers that we get an opportunity to disciple. I am so excited!

Continue to pray... our schedule is getting busier, but more consistent so I feel like I can be more intentional. I miss you all so much, but your prayers are appreciated more than you know! 

Habakkuk 2:2-3 has been a blessing to me.  Make the vision plain... if it seems slow, wait for it...

Will write soon! 

Crawling Back to the Throne of Grace...

There are many times where I feel like I need to return to the throne of grace. Sometimes I have strength to sprint back with all my might after realizing I have gone astray, other times it is a bit of complacency that makes me walk, but more recently and more and more often I find myself crawling back to the throne of grace. Tears in my eyes I beg the Lord to take me as I am in all of my filth and sin...  It's so hard for me to grab hold of the love of God which is so far beyond my understanding and the reality that God does receive me with compassion as a Father.  

In the reading of scripture I am bombarded with the beautiful mercy, faithfulness and grace of my Father and I sit astounded.  In this grace the Lord has been training me to renounce ungodliness... to live self-controlled, upright and godly.  I have been humbled in sharing the gospel, challenged in my faith (or lack thereof), and have been in complete awe of the sovereignty of God. 

There is so much I can share with you, but every time I go to blog, I get a bit overwhelmed and save it as a draft.  I will leave you with this short but sweet blog. Continue to pray and I will update soon!